Creating a Bedtime Routine: Bringing the Calm into Your Evening

Why Bedtime Routines Matter

When we dive into a sleep consult, one of my first questions is, “What’s your bedtime routine like?” Surprisingly, this seemingly ordinary routine is the secret sauce for your baby’s growth and happiness. It’s not just another checklist item; it’s the signal that tells your little one, “Time to wind down from all the day’s excitement.” This routine brings the consistency and security babies love, helping them sync with their natural sleep patterns and find a rhythm. Think of it as the magic ingredient for a good night’s sleep!

Bedtime routines in a nutshell:

• Babies thrive on routine.
• A consistent bedtime signals it’s time to wind down, regulating their sleep patterns and creating a sense of order.
• Bedtime routines are moments of emotional security for both you and your baby.
• Lullabies, stories, and feeding sessions contribute to a strong parent-child relationship.
• A well-established routine enhances longer, more restful sleep.
• Positive associations with bedtime create attitudes toward sleep that benefit your baby as they grow.

How effective are bedtime routines?

The research says it is effective! One study done in 2009 involved 400 babies. Half the parents were instructed to implement a 20-minute bedtime routine, and the other half were told to continue bedtime as usual. The results showed that those families who implemented the bedtime routine reported less overnight waking and an easier time getting their children to sleep. Parents who implemented the routine also reported an improvement in their own mood.

Things to Consider When Creating Your Bedtime Routine

Bedtime routines are very individual and tailored to each family and baby, but there are some general recommendations that you will want to keep in mind:

Consistent Bedtime Timing

• Set a consistent bedtime and wake-up time.
  • For newborns: 7-9 PM
  • For infants: 8-9 PM

Adapt based on your baby’s natural sleep patterns, but strive for consistency.

Bedtime Rituals for Repetition

• Repeat pre-bedtime activities in the same order each night.
  • Creates a predictable environment.

Research shows it takes three weeks for a bedtime routine to start to have any impact or effect on a baby’s sleep, so stick to your routine for at least a month before deciding if it’s not working or not! Remember, babies aren’t robots, and there will be nights when sleep feels elusive. Stay patient and be flexible. However, stick to the routine as much as possible, but don’t stress if it doesn’t go perfectly every night. Every baby is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. Feel free to tailor the routine to fit your baby’s personality and your family’s lifestyle. The goal is to create a routine that feels right for both of you.

Setting Up the Bedtime + Sleep Environment

The environment you create is crucial in easing your little one into a peaceful slumber. Here are three things to consider for your bedtime and sleep environment:

1. Lighting

As the day winds down, dim the lights in the bedroom. Soft, muted lighting signals to your baby’s brain that it’s time to relax. Red light is best for promoting sleep, and you do want to avoid blue light. This subtle change helps ease them into the calmness of the evening, preparing them for the journey into dreamland.

2. Calming Sounds

Whether it’s the gentle hum of a white noise machine, a soft lullaby, or nature sounds, incorporating calming sounds into the environment can work wonders. These sounds create a soothing backdrop that masks any potential disturbances and helps your baby drift into a peaceful sleep.

3. Optimal Temperature

Keep the sleep space comfortably cool. Aim for about 68-70 degrees Fahrenheit. Ensure the room is well-ventilated, and dress your baby in breathable sleepwear to maintain a comfortable temperature throughout the night. You should dress your baby in one lighter layer than you wear to bed.

The Heart of the Bedtime Routine

How long should your bedtime routine be?

This is not set in stone; it’s more about the flow than the clock. Generally, aim for about 20 to 45 minutes, depending on your baby’s age and attention span.

Where to start your bedtime routine?

Some parents like to start with a bath for cleanliness and as a therapeutic prelude to sleep. The soothing water helps relax your baby’s tiny muscles, helping them to relax for the night ahead. After the bath, engage in quiet playtime. This can be a moment to bond, share giggles, and wind down together. Soft toys and gentle interactions create a peaceful atmosphere.

What to include in your bedtime routine?

• Playtime: This can be a moment to bond, share giggles, and wind down together. Soft toys and gentle interactions create a peaceful atmosphere.
• Story or Lullaby: These moments of shared storytelling or melody become cherished rituals, creating a sense of connection and comfort. The rhythmic cadence of your voice or the soothing tunes lay the groundwork for relaxation.
• Feeding Session: The bedtime feed or nursing session can be another integral part of the routine, especially for younger infants. This isn’t just about nourishment; it’s a moment of closeness and reassurance.

Throughout the routine, maintain a calm and soothing demeanor. Your baby is incredibly attuned to your energy, and your relaxed presence contributes to the overall sense of tranquility.

Collaborative Parenting Through Bedtime

Bedtime routines are a shared responsibility. Collaborative parenting involves both partners actively participating in the bedtime routine. Regular communication and coordination deepen the connection between partners and contribute to a harmonious family environment.

Three tips for working as a team through bedtime:

• Communication: the backbone of this collaborative approach. Regularly discuss and coordinate bedtime routines with your partner. Understand each other’s preferences and your baby’s evolving needs.
• Divide and conquer: share the responsibilities of the bedtime routine. Taking turns can be an effective strategy, allowing each parent dedicated moments to bond with the baby. Whether it’s bath time, reading a bedtime story, or cuddling during the feeding session, these shared responsibilities deepen the connection between parent and child.
• Open communication extends to the emotional aspect of parenting. Discuss any challenges or concerns openly, and be receptive to each other’s suggestions. This collaborative dialogue not only strengthens your partnership but also enhances your ability to adapt the bedtime routine to your baby’s changing needs.
• Evolving as they grow: Stay attuned to each other’s rhythms and be flexible in adjusting the routine as your family dynamics shift. In this partnership, the bedtime routine becomes a task and a shared celebration of parenthood.

Routine Vs Schedule

Routines provide a comforting pattern to the day, fostering security and predictability. Schedules can be too rigid. Embracing routines provides structure without becoming overly regimented. Babies thrive on responsive parenting; a flexible routine aligns with their natural patterns.

• Routines: offer flexibility and comfort. They create a sequence of events that help your baby anticipate what comes next, fostering a sense of security and predictability. Routines adapt to the natural flow of your day, allowing for variations in timing without causing distress.
• Schedules: are more rigid timelines, assigning specific times for feeding, napping, and other activities. While schedules can provide structure, particularly for older infants, imposing strict timelines on young babies can be counterproductive. Babies have unique needs and rhythms, and a one-size-fits-all schedule might not align with their natural patterns.

Feeding and sleep schedules, when too rigid, can be stressful for both parents and babies. Babies thrive on responsive parenting, where cues from the baby guide the timing of feedings and naps. Strict schedules can lead to missed hunger cues or force-feedings, disrupting the natural feeding rhythm and potentially affecting the baby’s ability to self-regulate.

The key lies in finding a balance. Creating a bedtime routine is a gift to both you and your baby, a harmonious blend of consistency, comfort, and connection woven into the fabric of family life. If you’re seeking personalized guidance for your baby’s sleep, consider booking a sleep consult. It’s a click away from unlocking a peaceful bedtime routine and restful nights for your little one.

Did you implement a bedtime routine for your baby? What does your bedtime routine look like? Share in the comments.

Looking for a class that helps you sum this all up and a place to learn about all things infant sleep? Take my Prenatal Infant Sleep Class, at just $40 it’s a low investment to help you learn more about getting those precious Zzzzzzzs when your baby arrives.

In this class, learn all about normal infant sleep biology and infant brain development. Be prepared by knowing ahead of time what to expect with your baby’s sleep – and why they sleep the way they do! Learn how to set up your sleep plan and how to get more sleep as a family, despite having to parent overnight.